impedimenta: /im-ped-uh-men-tuh/

baggage or other things that retard one's progress

how to use in casual conversation:

"i have too much impedimenta to be in a relationship, baby"

not to be confused with:

magenta

how it makes me feel:

impeded. it's a good word. it's a latin derivative. latin is good. i like latin. yet for some reason i just kinda wanna nod my head and go "yup". and be done with it. but that wouldn't be fair to you. i figure you come here to read something. right? so how about this....

a story:

the why isn't important but my friend and I ended up walking home from a party a couple weeks ago. i was pretty hungry so we stopped for a burritos on "the ave".

my friend had to wait for the 44, so as we were walking down the ave to his stop he decided to take his burritos out and try to eat it. just as he took it out of the bag, the obviously intoxicated, heavy-set, young asian man randomly sitting on the stairs jumps up and just grabs at my friend's burrito.

at this point I was still buzzed and confused as shit. the only thing I could think to do was very sternly say "nooooooo!", in exactly the way you would reprimand a child or domestic animal.


apparently that was enough.

the only thing fatty could do was say "noooooo!" back, following it up with "ill stab you!". but seeing as how he said that as he was awkwardly positioning his jolly frame back down onto the stairs we found him on, I didn't take it to be a credible threat and we kept walking.

the moral of the story? don't mess with my friend's burrito or i will scold you!