31AUG09

diktat:

1. a harsh, punitive settlement or decree imposed unilaterally on a defeated nation, political party, etc.
2. any decree or authoritative statement

how to use in casual conversation:
"much to the chagrin of progressives, obama has yet to lay his massive legislative diktat down on congressional republicans"
"i've had just about enough of your diktats"
"can i show you my diktat?"

not to be confused with:

i don't think you can confuse this with anything else. a diktat's a diktat. but i guess didact is pretty close.

how i feel about it:

i feel good, really good actually. this is a seriously great word that fulfills all the desired dimensions of a spectacular WOTD:

1. it's short and sharp. much like a good high-five it stings a little bit, at least in the phonetic sense.
2. it's fairly esoteric. i feel like i've heard a word or two in my day and this one is new to me.
3. it would be amazing if someone pulled out diktat during a scrabble game.
4. i don't need to explain the fourth reason as i have illustrated it all over this post.

this word can be used in both a serious, 'sticking it to the man' setting (i.e. "this law is nothing more that a series of diktats issued by a kleptocray bend on keeping us all as wage slaves...yada yada yada") or it could be used to make people laugh when they've been smoking the cheeb (i.e. "i am hearby issuing a diktat that you will surrender your cookies to me immediately"). this word has potential and moxie.

28AUG09

chauffeur: a person employed to drive a motor vehicle

how to use in casual conversation:

"i need a chauffeur to take me down to merriam websters headquarters so i can smack someone"

not to be confused with:

chaucer

how it makes me feel:

merriam-freaking-webster strikes again. chauffeur?!?!?! are you freaking kidding me? seriously. i'm dumbfounded. my indignance knows no limits. it's friday, end of the week. we've all been waiting for something good; a high note of intellectualism on which we will base the melody of our weekend. but no. MW had other ideas. they must have also gotten crappy drunk last night and this morning decided it was too much work to dig something up. so they gave us chauffeur.

screw you guys.

*makes farting noise at merriam-webster*


delectation:

delight; enjoyment

how to use in casual conversation:

"seeing you here can only be described as a delectation"
"i find delectation in the subtle destruction of everything we as humans have built for ourselves"
"...and to my delectation the wedding reception had an open bar"

not to be confused with:

lactation

how it makes me feel:

when i first read the word i smiled. not like a 'ahhhh that's nice' smile but one of those 'i'm smiling but i don't know why and i don't really want to' smiles. it's a happy word, relatively long. it's definitely a raise-your-pinky-when-you-take-a-sip-of-tea kind of word. i.e."my dear barclay, the bear market will be an absolute delectation for banana futures".

27AUG09

eleemosynary: of, relating to, or supported by charity

how to use in casual conversation:

"i was thinking about doing some eleemosynary work to offset all the horrible things i've done in my life"
"my subsistence depends on platonic eleemosynary"
"mommy? when we go to the circus can i see the eleemosynary?"

not to be confused with:

hell if i know...

how it makes me feel:

i looked at this word and said 'whoa'. this one is intimidating. not only does it feel like your mouth fills up with cotton balls when you try to say it, the usage is also a little bit of an uphill battle. where and when in human history was so much charity going on that they came up with a word for it besides 'charity'. it's an excellent WOTD. MW has certainly redeemed themselves after yesterday's 'dead hand' fiasco.




saturnine:

1. Having the temperament of one born under the supposed astronomical influence of saturn.
2. a.  Melancholy or sullen.
    b.  Having or marked by a tendency to be bitter or sardonic.
3.  Produced by absorption of lead.

how to use in casual conversation:

"i've had just about enough of your saturnine b.s."
"but i'm not saturnine. oh no, i am not saturnine"
"you're awfully sexy when you look all saturnine and crap"

not to be confused with:

saturniidae

how it makes me feel:

i'm ok with it. how about you? it's not a bad WOTD. it's hovering towards the good end of the spectrum, but i'm really not all that sure. it's not bad in terms of size and it does have a somewhat dark feel to it which i like, but something is amiss. i think my issue is that unlike words where it sounds dark but isn't, this one is dark but doesn't show it. saturnine is hiding something and i don't like that.

26AUG09

rictus:

1. the gape of the mouth of a bird.
2. the gaping or opening of the mouth.

how to use in casual conversation:

"would you shut your rictus?"
"i know you're hungover but i would recommend closing that rictus of yours. flies are laying eggs in there"
"your parakeet has a lovely rictus"

not to be confused with:

ruckus

how it makes me feel:

i like it. it's a good word. it's kind of.....ummmm.......*clears throat*......cute. there. i said it. it's a cute word. why? rictus has six letters; its small, small things are always cute. not marsupials though. their babies are damn ugly. so are infant pandas.

the -ctus ending is sharp but has moxie. rictus, ruckus, rickshaw. all those words have moxie. what is moxie? i don't know. but i know it when i see it and rictus has it.

editorial note:

look, i'm no english wizard. we all know this. my posts are filled with general grammatical errors and if i'm in a hurry i'll botch the spelling and punctuation too. spelling errors and missing words are usually typos. there's no excuse for the punctuation. i admit it. i'm ok with it.

but MW's WOTD is 'dead hand' and correct me if i'm wrong, but isn't that two words? isn't this a phrase? is 'dill hole' a word? no! it isn't! buttress is a word, 'butt pirate' isn't. i don't get MW sometimes.

25AUG09

WORD OFF!!!!

empyreal vs. truckle

jerry's dead. phish sucks. empyreal isn't a good word. get a job.

truckle sounds like some harry potter word.

maybe i'm being a little harsh on empyreal. it's just that it's tuesday and i don't know about you but i'm tired. i looked at empyreal and thought 'oh geez, i'm going to have to come up with some highfalutin poetic crap about stars'. i'm not against highfalutin poetic crap about stars - i just don't feel like generating it today. truckle is just an icky word. unlike words that end in -ck, which are general some of the best, words that end in -ckle feel like something that leaks out of you after a -ck word has had it's way with you. see what i mean? icky.

for youz peoples that see this is reader:

don't forget to go to the site to vote for the lesser of these two words.

word of the duh homepage

24AUG09

flout:

1. To treat with contempt and disregard; to show contempt for.
2. To mock, to scoff.

how to use in casual conversation:

"i understand if you don't like me but do you really need to flout?"
"she flouted at the idea of riding the bus"
"you flout too much"

not to be confused with:

clout

how it makes me feel:

apparently the WOTD is like the new york times crossword puzzle; it gets tougher toward the end of the week. i'm saying this because monday WOTDs seem to be sort of disappointing, or at the very least unchallenging. it reinforces everyone's propensity for not doing a damn thing on mondays. i mean i've been sitting here for an hour and i haven't even looked at my email. maybe if the WOTD was a little more mind-expanding i would be prepared to jump up and face the day with all the ambition of someone who tries to make every moment a model of efficiency and productivity.

i know. i'm hilarious sometimes......

21AUG09

stultify:

1. To render useless or ineffectual; cripple.
2. To cause to appear stupid, inconsistent, or ridiculous.
3. Law To allege or prove insane and so not legally responsible.

how to use in casual conversation:

"lets stultify this mofo."
"everytime i hear that weakerthans song i turn into a stultified wreck and regret oozes from my psyche like so much drunken drooling."
"if you worked as hard at being awesome as you did at stultifying others, you might be a halfway decent person"

not to be confused with:

shanghai

how it makes me feel:

i'm familiar with this one. it's a pretty good word. solid WOTD. it's actually quite powerful. it kinda hits you in the center of the chest like heartbreak or a heart attack. anything heart related really. you know what i'm talking about......that shallow 'oh crap i can't breathe' feeling that seems to cinch down around your diaphragm and squeeze the life out of you like a homicidal boa constrictor. you could say "i feel useless" or "i feel crippled" and you'd get the point across, but if you were like "i feel stultified", that's a whole other beast. it's analogous to saying "i am f__king livid" as opposed to saying "i am angry". it's a question of degrees and stultify is 'useless' turned up to 11.

20AUG09

perorate:

1. to speak at length; make a long, usually grandiloquent speech.
2. to bring a speech to a close with a formal conclusion.

how to use in casual conversation:

"i didn't invite him because he talks soooo much. dude, this guy like perorates"

not to be confused with:

perforate

how it makes me feel:

meh. it's not exactly sexy. and i don't mean sexy like erotic i mean sexy like appealing. plus it's not exactly versatile. i was only able to muster up one sentence using it. maybe that's my issue, but it could possibly be the word itself. who knows. it's a good WOTD, it just isn't making me swoon. dictionary.com seems to generally be fairly consistent with decent WOTDs. merriam-webster is where you get the weird/exciting/dumb stuff. it can be disappointing in the most crushing sense while at other times instilling the greatest sense of wonder. kind of like manic-depression.

19AUG09

furbelow:

1. a ruffle or flounce, as on a woman's skirt or petticoat.
2. any bit of showy trimming or finery
3. to ornament with or as if with furbelows.

how to use in casual conversation:
"you call this a dinner party!?!?!? where's the furbelow!? WHERE IS THE FURBELOW!?!"
"you've got quite a lot of furbelow"

not to be confused with:

webelos

how i feel about it:

this one pretty much speaks for itself. ohhh the double entendres to be had!

words like this are half the reason i started this blog.




inordinate:

1. archaic : disorderly, unregulated
2. exceeding reasonable limits : immoderate

how to use in casual conversation:

"you spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom."
"you are inordinately stupid, even for a feeb"
"my level of patience with your b.s. has reached a level which can only be described as inordinate "

not to be confused with:

inordination

how it makes me feel:

this is the other half of the reason i started this blog. this word sucks. i use it sometimes, but that's exactly why it shouldn't be a WOTD. you've all seen my grammar and spelling....i mean come the f' on. my grasp of the english language is mediocre at best and i started using this one back in middle school when i needed to sound smart in a pinch. that's how low on the totem pole this WOTD should be.

18AUG09

WORD OFF!!!!!!!

propitious vs. canicular

i don't know why i don't like propitious. it might have something to do with a general aversion to -tious words (i.e. pretentious). plus that whole 'shhhh' sound is scratchy and makes me feel yucky. canicular is like "wtf? that's a word? seriously? should a word have a definition that refers to a specific outdated term like 'dog days'?" it's almost like an attempt to legitimize something which was superfluous to begin with. it also bears mentioning that while a google search of canicular will yield you hundreds of pages of definitions, it's flagged by both blogspot and gmail as being misspelled. their suggestions? funicular, conical, cannula, carbuncular and angular; all of which are better words than canicular. especially funicular. most words with 'fun-' in them are in fact, fun. except fundamentalism. fundamentalists they take the fun out of everything.

17AUG09

trichologist:

a person who specializes in hair and scalp care; broadly : hairdresser

how to use in casual conversation:

"my friend is studying to be a trichologist"
"oh my god! your hair is soooooooo cute! who is your trichologist? i have to have her humber! i just have to!"
"trichologist betta have my money!!!!"

not to be confused with:

trichinosis

how it makes me feel:

this is a tough word in the sense that it is difficult to use. it's one of those words which when used requires a definition after the fact which could potentially make you look douchey. i mean, i like esotericism as much as the next dude but being constantly esoteric is a social liability. when i saw the word i immediately though of trichinosis which is a parasitic infection associated with consuming under-cooked pork.

the prefix trich- is latin for 'hair'. i like latin. i like hair. not a lot of it though. short hair is better. pixie cuts to be specific. pixie cuts and alkaline trio shirts make my heart melt. wait......what are we talking about?

*silence*

oh yeah......don't eat undercooked pork or your hair will fall out.

editorial note:

to the best of my knowledge you cannot get trichinosis from a trichologist. that is unless your trichologist is a pig. and undercooked. and you eat him or her.

wow. this is going downhill pretty fast...

17AUG09

undulation:
1. an act of undulating; a wavelike motion.
2. a wavy form or outline.
3. one of a series of wavelike bends, curves, or elevations.

how to use in casual conversation:
"it's not the size of the wave, but the undulation of the seas"
"the undulation of your moods is more than i can stand"
"it wasn't so much dancing as much as it was flailing interspersed with wild undulations"

not to be confused with:

copulation

how it makes me feel:
this one takes me down memory lane. i was first introduced to the word in college biology. we were describing bacterial flagellum when my professor described the "wavelike undulations propelling the organism through the substrate." ahhh. science can be so pretty sometimes.

14AUG09

celerity: swiftness; speed.

how to use in casual conversation:

"the celerity with which she consumed beer was impressive if not erotic"
"i move with the celerity of an electron......bitches"
"put a little celerity in your step there duder"

not to be confused with:

celebrity

how it makes me feel:

ooohh i like this one. i mean.....*shivers*......wow. did anyone else just feel the earth move a little? i need a cigarette.

celerity is synonymous with alacrity, which is one of my favorite words. it's kind like when you have a really good friend whose sibling you then meet - there's a pretty decent chance you'll become good friends with the sibling. celerity is my new friend.

13AUG09

ingratiate: to gain favor or favorable acceptance for by deliberate effort

how to use in casual conversation

"your attempts to ingratiate yourself with flattery with not yield positive results sir!"
"you ingratiatory bastard!"

not to be confused with

ingrate

how it makes me feel

i love it. it's one of those fancy words that had an analagous crude term; in this case ass-kissing. ingratiate:kiss-ass::gluteous:ass. could one ingratiate someone else's gluteous? i'm not sure. i could go alot further with the a:b::c:d type things with dirty words but i'll leave it alone

12AUG09

i look at two different sources for word of the duh entries dictionary.com and merriam-webster. if both entries for the day are good and if i have time, i'll do both. if they both suck i don't know what to do. so i've invented the word off.

this weeks word off:

luminary vs. florilegium

i personally wouldn't want to be caught using either of these words. in both cases people would just look at you funny. firstly because nobody uses the word luminary unless they're trying to use their mouth on someone elses butt in a way that somehow gains the keeper of the mouth favor or cred. i.e. "i hear you're a luminary in the nightclub dancing scene". that or books written about jazz. florilegium sounds like something you catch in mexico. i.e. "your diagnosis is florilegium, find yourself a butt plug and try to stay hydraded". if you used luminary in causal conversation people would wonder why, if you used florilegium people would have to ask you what the word means. either way you'd "have some 'splain'n to do"

but if i had to choose...

florilegium is the winner

11AUG09

dernier cri: the latest fashion

how to use in casual conversation

"i heard thinly veiled racist rhetoric is dernier cri in the right talk show scene of late"
"dernier cri is my raison d'etre"
"i eat dernier cri and i poop post-modernism"

not to be confused with

derriere

how it makes me feel

i like skinny jeans. but thats because i'm skinny. i don't buy girl jeans or anything because i'm not that skinny yet. otherwise i'm not all that concerned with dernier cri. i keep wanting to call it 'the dernier cri' but it feels like a grammatical f'up. it's a solid WOTD entry except that it's in FRENCH! i don't have anything against the french as a whole i just don't like most of the french people i've known. and the language??? geez louis. name one 7 letter word in english where you only actually pronounce 3 of the letters. that sums up my experience with college level french.

i digress.

i think it could definitely be worked into use for a short period of time. but watch out, it could make you look very very douchey. used well (and assuming you have enough cred) it could give you an aura of hip intellectualism that could only come with diligent study of WOTDs.

10AUG09

expatiate: to move about freely or at will : wander; to speak or write at length or in detail.

how to use in casual conversation:

"i think i'm going to buy a scooter and expatiate around the southwest"
"she was cute and everything but i couldn't handle her constant expatiating"

not to be confused with:

expatriate

how it makes me feel:

i don't know if it's just 'a case of the mondays' but i really don't feel anything anything about it. it's like plain oatmeal. it doesn't really taste bad but it doesn't really taste good either. where's the brown sugar merriam-webster? where is the brown sugar!?!

07AUG09

insouciant:
free from concern, worry, or anxiety; carefree; nonchalant.

how to use in casual conversation:

'maaaan, my ex was such an insouciant bitch'
'i thoroughly enjoy the insouciant frame of mind that comes with a long night of drinking'
'i've had just about enough of all this damn insouciance'
'he insouciantly removed his underwear and walked into the lake'

not to be confused with:

incontinent

how it makes me feel:

solid entry. good word, sounds fancy though it's meaning is whimsical.

it's a word that at first doesn't really feel like it's definition which is a positive. the analagy i used was it would like hearing the word 'death' which is sharp and dark by nature and finding out it's just a synonym for 'puppies' which is a soft, well rounded word.

smithereens:
fragments; bits.

how to use in causal conversation:
refer to :

not to be confused with:

the smithereens

how it makes me feel:

it's a good word. i mean, it's not really a 'word' in the sense that 'melanoma' is a word, but it is a nice slangish term that's worked it's way into the english language. little is known about it's roots but it's possibly derived from irish slang. as an irish-american i'm a little insulted that the word is associated with a gun toting, drunken, redneck '49er. whatever.

i would however NOT call it a good WOTD. i don't feel expanded at all. good thing i'm pretty insouciant about these things.