28AUG09

chauffeur: a person employed to drive a motor vehicle

how to use in casual conversation:

"i need a chauffeur to take me down to merriam websters headquarters so i can smack someone"

not to be confused with:

chaucer

how it makes me feel:

merriam-freaking-webster strikes again. chauffeur?!?!?! are you freaking kidding me? seriously. i'm dumbfounded. my indignance knows no limits. it's friday, end of the week. we've all been waiting for something good; a high note of intellectualism on which we will base the melody of our weekend. but no. MW had other ideas. they must have also gotten crappy drunk last night and this morning decided it was too much work to dig something up. so they gave us chauffeur.

screw you guys.

*makes farting noise at merriam-webster*


delectation:

delight; enjoyment

how to use in casual conversation:

"seeing you here can only be described as a delectation"
"i find delectation in the subtle destruction of everything we as humans have built for ourselves"
"...and to my delectation the wedding reception had an open bar"

not to be confused with:

lactation

how it makes me feel:

when i first read the word i smiled. not like a 'ahhhh that's nice' smile but one of those 'i'm smiling but i don't know why and i don't really want to' smiles. it's a happy word, relatively long. it's definitely a raise-your-pinky-when-you-take-a-sip-of-tea kind of word. i.e."my dear barclay, the bear market will be an absolute delectation for banana futures".